


i fight back tears as i hide my fearful heart

by jhopefulyoongi



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Depression, M/M, Masturbation, Mutual Pining, Pining, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-10
Updated: 2018-08-17
Packaged: 2019-03-16 08:36:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13632663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jhopefulyoongi/pseuds/jhopefulyoongi
Summary: Both of them are attentive in their own ways, always wanting to take care of Junhui, to help him, to make him laugh and smile and make him feel included in everything.How can Junhui not love them?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> title from "run to you" by seventeen

They’ve been together for as long as Junhui has known them. There's never been a time when they’ve been apart from one another, a time when Junhui has only ever longed for one of them. They are a pair, a mismatched and messy pair, coming in different sizes and heights, but a beautiful pair nonetheless.

 

Soonyoung has always, always watched after him. Ever since he set foot in the Pledis building, was first introduced to them, only knowing a random jumble of words in Korean, Soonyoung had taken care of him, always leading him and making sure he’s comfortable and apart of what's going on. He’s better at taking care of Junhui than Junhui is at taking care of himself. The problem is, Junhui is far too selfless for his own good, and Soonyoung always knew that and always hated it. Hates that Junhui always keeps his real feelings to himself, always pretends like he’s okay when he’s not, always lets himself linger in the back so that the camera and limelight will fall on the other members.

 

Soonyoung has always known that and he’s always hated it.

 

Wonwoo always came with Soonyoung. When Soonyoung wrapped an arm around Junhui’s shoulders for the first time and asked him if he was Kim Heechul’s younger brother, when Junhui told him no, he wasn't, and Soonyoung laughed in embarrassment, Wonwoo was standing with them, laughing at the look on Soonyoung’s face when he realized Junhui didn't even know any Korean besides the basics.

 

Junhui remembers seeing Wonwoo laugh for the first time, watching how his head tilted back when he thought something was especially hilarious, the beautiful way that his nose and eyes crinkled up when he laughed.

 

When Soonyoung decides to take the new foreign member underneath his wing,  Wonwoo doesn't say a word and follows after them, simply accepting Junhui for what he was. Wonwoo was always good at that, knowing Jun and just accepting him for the way he was.

 

Wonwoo knows that Junhui clings to people because it's hard for him to say his affections out loud, because he’s afraid of emotional rejection, but doesn't mind it when someone brushes his arm off of their shoulders and refuse his physical affection. Wonwoo knows that Junhui took care of Samuel so much because he misses his own little brother, and somewhere in his heart, he’s trying to make up for the loss, for missing his brother growing up when he’s so far away, Junhui never tells him that, but Wonwoo knows. Wonwoo see’s him talking to his family, and even though Wonwoo can't understand him, he notices the way Junhui’s voice pitches up and becomes almost babyish when his brother comes on the phone.

 

Wonwoo finds him in the kitchen on most mornings, making them toast and tea and serving the kids as they rush out of the door for school. Junhui presses a piece of bread covered in strawberry jelly into Wonwoo’s mouth before he leaves, brokenly scolding him for not eating before school, telling him he’ll feel tired and sick later if he doesn't. Junhui wants to belong, he wants them to be his family, he wants to love them and for them to love him back, he wants to take care of them and see them smile happily when they see him making them breakfast or that he washed their school pants for them overnight. It makes him feel stable when the world is rocking around him.

 

Wonwoo knows that Junhui often feels anxious. He says he adjusts well, and Wonwoo can see that that is also true. But it doesn't mean that he doesn't sit up at night and worry about his future, worry about their future, biting his nails, pushing on his cuticles, twirling a piece of his long hair around his finger, all nervous ticks that keep him from panicking that make Wonwoo’s heartache.

 

Just like Soonyoung, Wonwoo knows that Junhui keeps his mouth shut when they're asked how they’re doing, he knows that Junhui puts on a smile and always says he’s okay and that's he's happy even when he’s not.

 

Neither of them doubts that Junhui really is an optimistic and happy person. It's one of the reason's they adore their friend so much. 

 

But no one is always positive. They notice the tremor in Junhui’s jaw when he’s stressed and he tries to smile, they always notice how his sparkling eyes are just slightly dimmer when he’s sad, but he stretches his smile wider to make them glow.

 

Both of them are attentive in their own ways, always wanting to take care of Junhui, to help him, to make him laugh and smile and make him feel included in everything. 

 

How can Junhui not love them?

 

He knows he’s pathetic, always pining after two people who are in a relationship, and a relationship with each other nonetheless. He sees them kiss one another and he feels jealous of both of them while also not feeling jealous at all, because he loves them both and loves seeing them together, but he also wishes he could be the one they kiss, not just each other. He wants to feel Soonyoung’s strong hand on the back of his neck, pulling him down for a kiss like he does with Wonwoo, he wants Wonwoo to wrap his lanky arms around him and press him up against his body, kissing him sleepily after a long practice like he does with Soonyoung.

 

Soonyoung and Wonwoo know Junhui inside and out.

 

But they've never been able to tell that he’s in love with them, that he longs for them with all his heart and craves their affection, attention, and love more than anything else. They’ve never noticed how Junhui shifts in his sleep, whispering their names as he dreams about them, they've never noticed how he always clings to their fingers a little longer when he holds hands with one of them than when he holds hands with another member, they don't notice that he cries himself to sleep sometimes, they don't notice a lot of things.

 

Junhui feels open and vulnerable underneath their eyes because they know so much, but he also feels invisible because they don't know enough.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im back to deliver pain and suffering

Junhui wakes up to the feeling of soft breathing against the back of his neck, and the warmth of a heavy limb wrapped around his hip. Sleep muddles his mind, leaving him confused before he turns around in the arms that are trapping him in place and see’s Soonyoung sleeping barely a few centimeters away from him. When he realizes who it is, he knows he should probably pull away, take Soonyoung’s limbs off of him and move to the other side of the bed, but he can't bring himself to do so. Soonyoung is so, so warm, and he feels safe and comforted in his sleepy embrace. 

 

He knows its wrong, letting his best friends boyfriend-who is also one of his best friends-cuddle him when he has feelings for him. He doesn't want to leave his arms, Soonyoung’s face is so close to his, and he looks so peaceful and relaxed and everything about it makes Junhui feel...It makes him feel guilty, but it also fills him with longing. He knows he should stay where he is, but he wants to so much, he wishes Soonyoung held him like this when he was awake and not just because he liked to cuddle when he was sleeping, and he wishes Wonwoo was on the other side of him, holding him between the two of them, both of them sleepy and peaceful and holding them because they want to and because they love him just as much as they love each other. 

 

Junhui doesn't know he’s crying until he sees his own tears stain Soonyoung’s gray shirt. A sob threatens to pass by his lips but he keeps his mouth stiffly shut, clamping his teeth and lips down to not let a single peep escape him. He slowly lets his forehead fall so it's cradled against Soonyoung’s chest, his eyes squeezed shut even as his burning tears break through his efforts and stain everything they touch. He doesn't know how long he cries for, but when the tears finally stop he lets out an exhausted, shaking gasp of breath as his throat burns and his eyes sting. 

 

Before another breath can escape him, Soonyoung lets out a groan as his eyes flutter open, his leg slipping down from where it had been thrown over Junhui’s waist. Junhui watches him wake up, dark eyes bloodshot and aching. He tries to pull himself out of Soonyoung’s arms as he yawns and brings one of his arms up to stretch it out, but before he can Soonyoung’s eyes focus on his face and then lower to look down at his own shirt, spotted and still wet where Junhui’s tears had fallen. 

 

Soonyoung hums and wraps his arms back around Junhui, pulling him until his head is back cradled against his chest, “What’s wrong, Junnie?” Soonyoung asks, sleepily trying to comfort him by rubbing his back. “Why were you crying?” 

 

Of course, Junhui can't tell him the truth. “I had a nightmare,” Junhui lies, cringing at his own unbelievable voice. If Soonyoung was more awake, he would have caught it, but his mind still being half in dreamland, he makes a sympathetic noise and holds Junhui even closer to him, eyes falling shut. 

 

It does nothing to make Junhui feel better, instead, it makes him feel even worse than he had already did. Before he can stop himself fresh tears trickle from his eyes and fall on Soonyoung’s bare neck. Soonyoung pulls away just far enough to look at Junhui’s face, his hands coming up to wipe the tears rapidly falling down his face. He shushes Junhui softly, his sleep deepened voice gentle as he whispers comforting words down at Junhui, his hands moving up from his back to run through Junhui’s hair. 

 

“S’okay, Junnie,” Soonyoung tells him. “Just a dream, ‘s not real.” 

 

The words do nothing to comfort him, and before he can stop himself or even try to keep himself quiet, a sob escapes his mouth, loud and clear, echoing off the walls and vibrating in the space between their bodies. 

 

Soonyoung makes the observation of the odd positioning of Junhui’s body even as he tries to comfort him, to stop the sobs that make his body shake from head to toe. When Junhui is sad and someone tries to hold him, he always holds them back, almost so tightly that it hurts wherever he’s decided to cling onto. But Junhui’s hands stay by his sides, not holding Soonyoung back or even touching him, wrapped up in fists so tight that his knuckles are almost white. He worries if something he said or did was wrong, and he pulls back to ask Junhui, but before he can pull back far enough to ask, to look at his face, Junhui follows after him. 

 

Junhui wedges his head in the space between his shoulder and neck, hot tears burning his skin, and he simply tightens his hold around Junhui. Unknown to Soonyoung, everything in Junhui is screaming for him to hold Soonyoung back, to let himself fall into his arms and clutch onto him with his life, with all he has, but he stops himself from doing so. It only adds to his pain, making his sobs even louder, so loud that everyone else in their room starts to wake up. 

 

Wonwoo is the first one to fully awaken and get up from his bed, recognizing the sound of Junhui’s voice even while distorted by his own crying. He shuffles over to where Soonyoung has his bed shoved up against Junhui’s in an attempt to make more room in their cramped space. 

 

“Junnie…” Wonwoo mumbles, standing over the bed and rubbing at his sleepy eyes. A sob so loud it possibly could have been considered a wail of agony escapes Junhui at the sound of his friend's voice. 

 

Wonwoo probably hates him for laying with Soonyoung like this, for crying into his boyfriend's skin like he has any right to touch him. Before he can hate himself any more than he already does in front of them, their bedroom door flies open and a half-awake Minghao comes tumbling through, looking around the room quickly until he finally spots Junhui being held by Soonyoung.

 

“He had a nightmare,” Soonyoung tells Minghao, but Minghao knows that he didn't, he knows, he always had. Minghao can read Junhui’s tears for Soonyoung and Wonwoo in a way that they will likely never be able to, he knows Junhui suffers just by being surrounded by them, held by them even though its what his heart wants most. He strides across the room as Chan sits up in bed and wraps his arms around Junhui, taking him from Soonyoung with a strength no one knew he had. He holds Junhui to him, cradles him in his arms like a baby, and Junhui holds back onto him, hands clutching at the back of his shirt and head hiding in his shoulder. 

 

“Go back to sleep, hyungs,” Minghao tells Soonyoung and Wonwoo, already guiding Junhui out of the room. “I’ll take care of Junnie hyung for the rest of the night.” Without another word, he closes the door behind them and carries Junhui to his and Mingyu’s room. Mingyu is still fast asleep in the bed they share, but Minghao doesn't hesitate to lay Junhui down in between them, pulling the blanket up so it covers all three of them evenly. Junhui holds onto him, his crying making his entire body shiver and shake, and Minghao holds him back, running his hands through his hand, down his back, letting Junhui cry as hard for as long as he needs to. 

 

At some point, Mingyu wakes up and takes a moment to take in the sight of them. His sleepy eyes stare at Junhui for a second before his face clouds with understanding and he moves forward, holding Junhui as securely and tightly as Minghao. The two of them whisper soft words of comfort to him until he finally quiets down, and then even longer until he falls asleep, tucked protectively between their bodies. 

 

“He should stay in here with us,” Minghao tells Mingyu quietly, “Just for a few days.” 

 

Mingyu agrees easily and falls asleep a few minutes later, one hand trapped under Junhui’s body, and the other holding Minghao’s. It really isn't a question anyways, Minghao knew Mingyu would agree, they both know how it feels to love someone they think will never love them back. 

 

Minghao brushes a piece of Junhui’s hair behind his ear and falls asleep as well. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy easter to everyone who celebrates and to everyone who doesn't, i hope you had a lovely sunday~
> 
> twt: lemonjunnie


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> updated some tags, pls look at them before reading
> 
> who said anything about projecting? im not projecting, idk what yall mean

Junhui hides away after his crying episode. He feels ashamed of himself, he feels sickened when he looks in the mirror and sees himself staring back. He feels dirty. Like he’s been rolling around in the dirt, then went and rolled around in a dirty sewer right afterward, and then didn’t shower for a few months.

He feels disgusting, he _is_ disgusting.

What kind of person has feelings like he does? How could he be in love with both of his best friends when they already have one another? How could he dare even risk the relationship he already has with the two of them because of his stupid daydreams of things that will never occur?

 _You can think about Soonyoung kissing you all you want,_ Junhui tells his reflection. _But it’ll never happen. He doesn’t want to kiss you, he never will._

 _You really think Wonwoo would ever do something like that for you?_ Junhui demands of himself when he catches himself imagining some sweet scenario like Wonwoo giving him flowers or hugging him from behind. _You are so pathetic, he doesn’t want you._

Junhui feels the most pathetic late at night when he has the bathroom door locked and two fingers inside of himself, bending over the sink and imagining that its Wonwoo or Soonyoung inside of him, holding onto his hips, calling him pretty, fucking into him and enjoying themselves, loving him and his body. Sometimes he shoves two fingers into his mouth and sucks on them, imagines that his long, slender fingers are one of their cocks, one of them fucking his mouth while the other one does him from behind. He always comes with tears on his cheeks and a bitter taste in his mouth, but he always comes, always.

Its just lust, Junhui tries to tell himself after he finishes masturbating. But he knows that it isn’t true. Not when what gets him off is the thought of their sweet, gentle, caresses, of Soonyoung telling him he loves him when he takes him from behind, of Wonwoo asking him if he’s okay while he fucks his mouth. He always realizes just how much it isn’t just lust very soon after, and more often then not, he’ll slide down to the bathroom door and cry his eyes out. He cries until his eyes are stinging, his cheeks freezing from being so wet, his under eye’s swollen and numb, his inner cheeks bitten raw from keeping himself quiet.

Sometimes he stands in front of the mirror, and he thinks to himself, _what can I change to make them love me?_ If he went and worked out with Minghao and Mingyu, would they like him more? If his waist was a little smaller, would they like him better? What about his hair color? His nose? What could he do to his physical appearance to make himself more attractive to them?

When he realizes that there’s nothing he can do, that no matter what, neither of them will ever look at him and feel _want_ in their heart, he covers himself with baggy clothing and lays in bed, letting sleep take away his pain.

Or maybe its his personality. He’s a needy person, he knows that. He shows his affection through touch and he often demands to be hugged and lays all over the members. He stomps his feet, doesn’t listen to his hyungs, whines to the younger members, half the time when he talks it's about cats, he makes silly jokes and impressions.

Soonyoung and Wonwoo are both serious people. Sure, they certainly have their youthful and even immature moments, Soonyoung especially, but they’re very much alike on the inside. They both have that same inner brooding, something that Junhui doesn’t have. They understand one another in a way that Junhui can’t. Both of them carry this weight on their shoulders, a weight they seem to be able to carry because they have one another to depend on and talk to.

Junhui tells himself he wouldn’t be of much help in carrying that weight. He would probably knock one of them over in excitement and send everything crashing down around all of them. He would ruin everything, just like he always has, and always will.

Today is one of the days when he finds it difficult to leave his bed. It's not his bed, its Minghao’s and Mingyu’s, but still, he can’t leave it. He lays in the corner, back against the wall and a pillow hugged tightly to his chest, his eyes burning as hot, salty tears bite at his sensitive flesh. The door is closed, and he can hear the others having their breakfast out in the kitchen. Usually, he would be the first one up, helping Mingyu serve everyone their breakfast and happily partaking in the warm atmosphere.

But he can’t. Not today. He just can’t, he is a prisoner of his own mind, his brain keeping his body locked up and in place, not allowing him to move or get away from it. The hatred, the sadness, the numbness. He can’t escape any of it just being by himself, he knows it will only get worse if he’s around other people, and then they’ll know about it, and he just can’t deal with that at the moment.

No one can know just how weak he really is.

Minghao has had a taste of it, but it doesn’t make Junhui feel any better, instead, it makes him feel worse. He should be the one taking care of Minghao, but instead, Minghao is the one who lets his crying hyung sleep in his bed and hide in his room because he can’t handle being around people because of how much he hates himself.

Junhui thinks the thing he hates the most is that he still thinks about how it felt to be in Soonyoungs arms. He had smelled so nice, so warm and comforting, his skin was hot because Soonyoung radiated heat, his hair damp from his shower and smelling like his orange scented shampoo. Even now, laying in his friend’s bed, he imagines that the pillow he was holding against his body was Soonyoung.

He really is horrible, completely awful, just the absolute worst.

The bedroom door opens and Minghao walks in. He looks at Junhui and hands him a tissue, and then he sits at the edge of the bed, looking at his box of earrings and trying to give Junhui an impression of privacy.

“They both asked for you,” Minghao says.

Junhui turns to face the wall and continues to cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THERES A POLL OUT ON MY TWT ABOUT WHAT FIC I SHOULD UPDATE NEXT, SO YALL CAN GO AND VOTE IF YOU WANTED TO  
> twt: lemonjunnie  
> tumblr: junhuui


	4. Chapter 4

Junhui never ends up going back to the room that he had shared with Soonyoung and the others.

He stays with Minghao and Mingyu for a week, and then they move to the new dorms. Wonwoo goes to the other one, but Soonyoung ends up in the same dorm as him. There had been a brief discussion of the couples in the group sharing rooms, but in the end, they decide that that was too exclusive of the others and that it was more important for them to keep on interacting as they always did, spending time with the other members and not just who they were dating.

It, to a point, turns out to be quite entertaining for most of them. As walking into Jisoo’s room only to find Jeonghan and Seungcheol staring back at whoever happened to come into the room from either side of Jisoo, both of them taking a part of his torso to lay on as they whine about being lonely in their rooms all by themselves. Seungcheol whines the loudest even though he, technically, has Wonwoo to keep him company, but none of them are surprised. Mingyu has scared Minghao at least ten times while he was sleeping from crawling into bed with him in the middle of the night. Jun has woken up several times to see Hansol curled up into Seungkwan’s chest in the wee hours of the morning.

That morning is one of those kinds of mornings. Junhui wakes from his sleep, his throat feeling so dry its uncomfortable to swallow. He wants to roll over and just got back to sleep, but he knows Jihoon will scold him if he lets his throat sit like this and possibly become sore by the time the sun comes up. He carefully climbs down from the top bunk and as he passes by Seungkwans bed across the room from him, he sees a head of honey blond hair poking out from the top of the blanket, Seungkwans fingers twisted into the soft strands as he caresses his head in his sleep.

Junhui pauses just long enough to smile sleepily because of the sleeping couple and then peek towards Chan's bed to make sure that the younger is sleeping and isn’t up on his phone or hasn’t sneaked off to do anything but rest. Thankfully, Chan is fast asleep and so Junhui continues his way out of the room and out in the hall.

The hallway is starting to light up as the morning starts to peek through the very edges of the night sky, though the sky is still pitch black with the horizon lightening into a gentle gray. Junhui blinks at the image of the sky through the window in the living room that he can see from the hall and takes a step towards that end of the hall, going to make his way to the kitchen, letting out yelp when he slams into something solid and very much alive.

Warm heads reach out and grab onto his shoulders, keeping Junhui steady so that he doesn’t fall flat on his ass in the middle of the hall.

“Sorry, Junnie,” A sleep ridden deep voice whispers and he feels his heart freeze in his chest.

He tips his head up to see Wonwoo, who is very much not a member who sleeps in his dorm, holding him with one hand and holding a bottle of water in the other. Junhui gives him a quick once-over, blushing when he sees the hickies covering his collarbones and the mustard colored sweater that he’s seen Soonyoung wear at least a dozen times covering him up. He turns even redder when his eyes go further down and deducts that its all Wonwoo is wearing, the sweater covering up enough that Junhui doesn’t see anything, but not covering up enough that Junhui knows there nothing covering his lower half. Wonwoo takes a step back to give Junhui some space and he thinks his mind is going to short circuit when he sees a collection of hickies covering his inner thigh.

“Sorry,” Junhui tells him softly, avoiding his eyes as he tries to step around him and go to the kitchen, wanting to get his water so that he can go back to his room as soon as possible and scream into his pillow about what he has seen.

Before he can walk past though, Wonwoo grabs him by the arm and pulls him into his chest, covering his head with his hand and patting it softly, his arm warm around Junhui’s shoulders and making him feel like he was going to swallow his tongue.

“I haven’t seen you in a while,” Wonwoo tells him softly. “Where have you been?”

“…Busy,” Junhui says softly after a moment of hesitation.

Wonwoo hums and pats the top of his head again, running his fingers through his hair gently. “Mm, the three of us will have to do something soon.”

Junhuis sleep riddled mind takes a moment to process that but when he does he feels a bit lightheaded. “You mean…us and Soonie?”

“Mmm,” Wonwoo hums, leaning his cheek on the top of his head. “We were talking about you last night.”

Before or after you fucked each other’s brains out? Junhui wonders very loudly, even his mental voice very high pitched and strangely desperate for an answer.

“We miss you,” Wonwoo tells him, nuzzling his nose into Junhui’s hair.

Junhui pauses, but he can’t not say the truth. “I miss you both too,” Junhui whispers into Wonwoo’s shoulder. Wonwoo hums softly and Junhui is screaming at himself that he’s just imagining it, but Wonwoo very obviously kisses him on the top of his head before he pulls away and walks to Soonyoung’s room.

“Get some more sleep,” Wonwoo tells him as he opens the door. “Night, Junnie.”

“Goodnight,” Junhui whispers back after the door has already closed.

…

“Jun, wake up,” Minghao’s voice, which is far too awake in his opinion, comes from somewhere around his head and Junhui lifts his head from his pillow, a soft groan leaving him as he looks around the now lit up room.

“Gyu came to sleep in my room again last night,” Minghao tells him, reaching out to pet his hair. “He’s showing off and making us all breakfast. Come out and eat with us.” Minghao pats him on the head again and tells him to get up once more before he leaves, a scream from the kitchen coming a moment later.

Junhui lays there for another moment, wondering how much Minghao will scold him later if just rolls over and goes back to sleep, but eventually, his own rumbling stomach draws him up and out of his bed.

Junhui stumbles out into their shared space, not even taking a moment to straighten out his clothes or fix his hair, stumbling right through the living room and right into the kitchen where Minghao is telling Mingyu off for dropping food on the floor for the third time because he keeps trying to do fancy pan flips instead of just stirring with a spoon. Junhui ignores this and buries his head into Mingyu's back, right between his shoulder blades.

“Food,” Junhui demands with a soft whine.

Mingyu laughs softly. “Not ready yet hyung, go wait out in the living room with the others.” Junhui huffs but shuffles out into the living room, eyeing Jeonghan, Chan, Seungkwan, and Hansol all sleeping on top of each other on the mattress in their living room.

He hears a soft giggle come from the other side of the room, and suddenly he can’t think of anything but running into Wonwoo in the middle of the night, so close to daybreak. Soonyoung has Wonwoo in his lap, who’s still wearing the mustard sweater but having put on a pair of shorts underneath. Soonyoung squeezes his arms around Wonwoo again and carts his fingers over his sides, making another giggle escape him even as he tries to elbow Soonyoung in the face to escape.

“Sto-Stop…Soonyoung, oh my-Listen,” Wonwoo huffs, escaping from his lap and planting himself on the other side of the couch, Soonyoung following after him and pulling him back into his lap for safe keeping.

“You’re so moody in the morning,” Soonyoung tells Wonwoo. “I’m trying to make you sm- Oh our Moon Junnie is awake,” Soonyoung says, a smile spreading across his face, Wonwoo squirming away now that Soonyoung is distracted, puffing that he isn’t moody.  

“Junnie Junnie,” Soonyoung coos, patting at the now space between him and Wonwoo. Junhui covers his cheeks with both of his hoodie-clad hands but knows there no excuse he can make and so he shuffles over, taking a seat between them. Not even a second passes by before Soonyoung is grabbing a hold of him and pulling him into his lap, bouncing him on his knee as he holds him around the waist and sways them both back and forth.

“Where do you keep running off to, huh?” Soonyoung grumbles into his ear. “I miss you. You just leave me alone with boring Wonwoo to play with.”

“Junnie is boring too,” Wonwoo says from where he has his face now squished into the armrest.

“Jun has an excuse. Whats your reason for not being funny at all?” Soonyoung demands, grabbing his arm and pulling him over. Wonwoo comes without complaint this time and lets Soonyoung pull him up onto his lap as well, resting Wonwoo on his free knee and then wrapping his arms around the two of them. Wonwoo complains softly and grumbles but Junhui stays quiet, head down, his hood and hair thankfully hiding most of his blushing face.

“I’m funny,” Wonwoo insists.

“No, you’re not,” Soonyoung says, pinching his side and making him shriek. “Not even a little bit.”

“Like I said, Junnie isn’t funny either!”

“He’s cute though,” Soonyoung defends him. “So, it's okay.”

“And I’m not cute?” Wonwoo asks.

“No.”

“That’s not what you said last night when-“

“Wonwoo!” Soonyoung says quickly and Wonwoo trails off, both of them peeking at Junhui who has gone all still.

“Anyways, Junnie,” Soonyoung said, squeezing him. “Wonwoo and I want to spend some time with you-“

“I already told him that last night slash early this morning,” Wonwoo says.

“You could have told me then, brat,” Soonyoung says, pinching Wonwoo’s cheek and pushing him out of his lap. Soonyoung grabs Junhui up and makes him sit across his lap, making Junhui press his cheek into his chest. Wonwoo kicks Soonyoung and then leans his head into Junhui’s back, cuddling close to him.

“I miss you so much,” Soonyoung says again. “You’ve been avoiding us-don’t say you haven’t,” Soonyoung says when Junhui goes to say just that. Junhui lowers his head and closes his mouth. “You’re our best friend, best friends cry in front of each other, it's not a big deal.” Soonyoung runs his hand through Junhui’s hair and then rests his hand against his nape.

“We wanna take you out tonight,” Wonwoo says, voice muffled from being pressed into Junhui’s back.

“On a date,” Soonyoung says and Junhuis heart stops. “A friend date, because those are the cutest.” Junhui feels a part of himself wither and then feels ridiculous because of it, did he really think Soonyoung and Wonwoo actually wanted to take him out on a date? Why did he always have to go and get his own hopes up like that? He knew nothing would ever happen. “We’ll go eat wherever you want and take some cute pictures and go for a walk. Doesn’t that sound nice, Junnie?”

Junhui lifts up his head to look between Soonyoung and Wonwoo who looks as if he was glaring at Soonyoung, but he was sure he was just imagining it because Wonwoo smiled softly down at him when he met his gaze.

“We really want to,” Wonwoo said, reaching out and cupping his cheek. “Please?”

Junhui is so weak.

“Okay,” Junhui says softly and feels his heart burst when they both smile radiantly at him.

“You three are so gross,” Jeonghan moans from across the room, Hansol’s head crushing his sternum.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i....love soonies mustard sweater uwu 
> 
> twt: lemonjunnie  
> tumblr: lovetojun

**Author's Note:**

> ive wanted to do a soonwoohui fic for forever and since im getting back into writing i thought i would start a fic for them
> 
> lemme know if i should continue it tho?
> 
> u can hmu whenever  
> twitter: lemonjunnie  
> tumblr: junhuui


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